Over Stress

I had left school teaching life 1 week but feel like 1 year. Everyday's 1.10pm I will imagine in my mind: oh, school end and students are lining up go to canteen wait for bus. 

Previous days, my fatty stomach weird pain happened. I went for blood test, urine test, scan and result came out was normal. This had remind me, my old friend is back! 3 years ago, i still was a form6 student. I had same condition with now, over stress makes that. Doctor advice me some ways to relax mind of body. I feel my life quite stress now, seriously means now i ONLY realize. 

Friend can even feel me have something wrong, but I don't know how to show out my feeling. Sorry for that a bit yelling. I want to solve it by alone, it will be my forever sick in my life. I need to find the most effective way to cure my sick and of course not depend on medicines.

My brother expected me have to be the most professional and expert. That is the only condition he ask for, but not easy full fill his words. I need to be professional with his words, his guide. I am thinking, why i can't have my own way to become the person you expected to? Why must me follow your words? Can't you respect me just a little bit? 

I choose to work smart, do smart.

Leave on time, not to bring work stuffs back to home.
I will complete my task with my planning.
But, he judge me with no evidence.

Judge me doing nothing in office, leave on time, no result of work.
Am i suppose to report everything what I had did everyday ?

Phew, blog is the only place for me yell out all my stuffs. Front of my brother, I choose to be silent and listen. I only trust myself, what had did and didn't only me know well. Start now, I have to control well on my emotions and mind for avoid fall sick again. Think positive, don't take over stress on everything around me. But, I can?

Dodora*